Look after my heart -- I've left it with you..

I think I'm done here....

I can't fucking check my friends page. Fuck you! FUCKING LIVEJOURNAL!
SORT YOUR FUCKING SHIT OUT!!!

I'm going to have another beer and clean my room..
p.s. Suck balls, LJ.

Which Band Should You Be In? by couplandesque
Your Name
Band Name	Garbage
Role	Keyboardist
Trademark	Colour Coordinated Wardrobe
Love Interest	A Porn Star
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Which Horror Film "killer" would you most likely be killed by? by BabyGurl444
Username:
Horror Movie Killer:	Jason Voorhees
How did he get you:	While you were getting screwed on Halloween!
How did did he kill you:	With a machete to your head!
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Happy New Year to whomever is out there. I hope that you're thinking good thoughts and sipping some goodies.

Much love..

<td align="center">Your Pornstar Name is:
Roxanne Dynasty



Take this quiz at QuizUniverse.com</td>

A feel good quiz by cerulean_dreams
your name is...
your eyes	are striking
your hair	is magnificent
your smile	outshines the sun
your body	is voluptuous
your hugs	are given to all who need them
your kiss	is enticing
your love	is honest and true
Quiz created with MemeGen!

I feel like every entry I've written lately has to be deleted... Go figure.

I'm in a not so goodish mood today. I first off didn't get to bed until after 5am. I've been having real trouble sleeping lately. There's no reason for it.. but then again that could just be the right justification for it. I hate feeling so fucking useless.

I got a call from the new apartment's management. I *apparently* forgot to fucking sign one of my rent cheques. Goody. I can't believe I did that. I called Erin and told her what's up so her and I will be going up to Oakville to sign it tomorrow. (Thanks for the quick-to-rescue-me thing, love you Erin.) If Mikey's here, which I assume that he will be, he'll be coming to. It's just a hassle for everyone else because I fucked up. I guess I was just so nervous.. but whatever.

I decorated the house for Christmas last night. My sister and I did the tree (which looks not too baddish) and then I put up some random decor around the house. I hate our wreath though, it always takes a chunk out of the door. :(

On a happier note, I got my schedule for school. Erin and I have all the same classes. Which is for lack of a better term, awesome as fuck. No wait, that puts it quite nicely..
I'm going to spend the rest of my afternoon packing until my sister gets home. She's going to a Christmas party tonight and the boy she likes is holding it. I'm going to do her hair and make-up.. She's getting more and more grown-up everyday and I think my dad and I are having the worst trouble with it. Mom's proud as punch.

I'm officially NOW done all my Christmas shopping. I thought I combined some shipping with an item and apparently I didn't. Even though I know I did. Oh well.. I don't mind paying the couple extra bucks now. Later, I'll regret it I'm sure.

I just want to make Christmas cookies like I've been planning all bloody week, wear pajamas, and cry all this wretched feeling out. I don't even know why I'm so upset. I guess part of it will be the fact that this will be the first Christmas where the family is not all together. It's just freaking me out a bit I suppose. I know our family is different (to say the least) but I still don't like the feeling that we're disbanding. I guess it's just part of growing up. My family may be fucked, but we're all really emotional and close beings. I think it's the fact that we care so much that we're erratic.

Or maybe just chemically imbalanced...............*smirks*

Be careful who you let take your picture.............

I want to see this so fucking bad....

You are

You Are the Very Gay Bert and Ernie!

Two grown puppets living together, sleeping in the same room? They've even got coordinating striped shirts!

You Belong in 1973

1973 If you scored... 1950 - 1959: You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in! 1960 - 1969: You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too. 1970 - 1979: Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all! 1980 - 1989: Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day. 1990 - 1999: With you anything goes! You're grunge one day, ghetto fabulous the next. It's all good!

I guess I should update on here. I've actually been wanting to for a week or so.. but I never know what to say on these things. No one really ever does, I think. That's the appeal for me I believe..

I've been taking time away from everyone.. Most likely at the worst possible time. People appear to be out of my life.. some by my choice.. some by theirs. I just want those ties that linger sometimes a year or more to just be tied up. Lose ends with my control to end it, finished. Nothing negative.. just complete. For those who's ties were negative.. I forgive everyone that wronged me and forgive myslef for whom I wronged. It's pointless for people to continually talk about things from 2,3, and 4 years ago when you cannot change the past. I had a hard time letting go of everything.. but I feel better knowing that we were all just a bunch of hurt and dumb kids. No one was 100% honest in those situations. No one. The me now knows better. I'm happy that I, myself, can grow like that. Seeing things now and seeing things then really puts things in perspective. I don't think Erin and I would be where we are, closeness wise, as we are now if things hadn't gone in the past the way that they should of. Fate is fate. I'm happy where I am. That's the point, right? Making lives for ourselves?.......Not just having them provided for us.

I'm moving to Oakville in January. School starts on the 6th.. I really think it will be good for Erin and I. She really needs to just get away from all of the negative people that always seem to flock to her. I don't understand it.. What makes people's lives so unsatisfying and shitty that they have to take down someone else's self-worth out of no where? Attacking them when they are the most vulnerable because they know it will hurt them more? That's some sadistic shit. 2 years ago I would have thought it was funny to someone else.. But then again, that was a different person.

I need a fresh start. I've handled things here very badly. My temper hasn't helped and my inability to handle stress and pain correctly has brought me more harm than good. In all respects.. Past and present.

Anyways, in other and more important news: Mom isn't ill and I'm going to Jersey for some of the Holidays.

Jennifer: I'd send this in an email but I'm on my way out the door, sometime in the next week or so I'm free to meet up and talk. Want to? Hope Seth is healthy, healing, and pain free.

To anyone who reads this. I'm taking time away from everyone. I'm sick and tired of feeling the way that I do and feeling like I have to justify myself to everyone for everything.

Don't ask me why because I wont tell you.. Don't ask if it's you because it's not.. Don't ask what you can do for me because you can't do anything.. Don't do shit.

I'm obviously so emotionally retarded that I can't keep anyone happy.. especially myself. This whole online thing is just distracting me from a normal life. I should learn to deal with life in the real world. On my own.

No more comments and no more anything for a while.

Love you all and fuck everyone. :)